i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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