So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
kristin has been a bad kristin
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
