I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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