Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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