Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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