this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
They took my balls.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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