So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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