We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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