Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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