This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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