Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
