we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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