can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
