Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
