I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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