Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
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