All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
