By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
