I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
