Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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