How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
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Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
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Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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