Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
