it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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