Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
