So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
