I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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