What did we do last night that was yellow?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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