the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
