he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
