Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
