she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
