is wine microwaveable?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize