so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize