i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
