got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
