uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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