He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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