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oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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