Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
