Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
