You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize