My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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