we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
