the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
This is classic penis vs brain.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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