now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
