shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
