I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
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I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
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she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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