Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
