Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
