I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
