he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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