I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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