I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
