Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
