I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
