i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
