On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
