Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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