Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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