I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize