I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
