Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
