Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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