Banned from zoo.
Again?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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