dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
