some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
