Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Be still, my beating vagina.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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