he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
