ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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